Motherhood: The Most Difficult Job I've Ever Had ? Simple ...

I?ve had many non-glamours jobs over the course of my life?

• washing dishes for my neighbor?s?catering?company?when I was in middle school
• cleaning offices at night for another neighbor?s company
• busing tables for a local bar/pub when I was 16
• folding clothes for American Eagle {probably the most?ridiculous?job ever!}
• stocking shelves and working the checkout lanes at various grocery stores
• janitorial work for Calvin College {this is how I met Dave ? so it was worth it!}
• cleaning houses to make money for college

?and the list could go on!

But now that I?m a mom, I feel so blessed to finally have a job that I love, that doesn?t involve washing dishes, clearing tables, folding clothes, cleaning toilets, stocking pantry shelves, grocery shopping?. eerr well, never mind

All kidding aside, motherhood is definitely not the most glamours job in the world? and it?s probably the most difficult job I?ve ever had. There are even days when I?d rather be busing tables, cleaning offices, or doing pretty much anything else but working from home with my baby.

Yes, I?m sure some of you now think I?m the most horrible person in the world for wanting to clean offices instead of care for my baby? and that?s OK! I can?t change how I feel, and just because I?m somewhat overwhelmed by motherhood, doesn?t mean I love Nora any less.

In fact, I love her so much that it sometimes makes things worse. I?ve never felt such an overwhelming sense of responsibility before, I?ve never felt such a strong desire to do everything ?right?; yet at the same time, I?ve never felt so helpless and unsure of what I?m supposed to do.

I?m sure I?m not only new mom out there who bawled the entire ride home from the hospital thinking? what in the world am I going to do with her when we get home. I have no idea how to do this! Don?t we need a manual, some instructions, a live-in nurse, or at the very least, someone to show us what to do?

Just knowing that Nora depends on me for everything is sometimes more than my?independent?spirit can handle. Yes, I?m willing to work hard, do?unpleasant?things, and make sacrifices. Yes I love a good challenge, but I also love my sleep? and eating with both hands!

I?ve never had a job that required constant 24/7?availability, I?ve never had a job that I felt so unqualified for, and I?ve never had a job that didn?t involve some type of training {or at least a small instruction manual}.

Yet, I?ve never had a job that mattered so much!?

I?m the type of person who likes to be good at everything I do. I?m a fast learner, I work really hard, I?m willing to do things I don?t want to do, make sacrifices, deal with difficult situations, push myself to be better? and I LOVE a challenge.

So I should excel at motherhood? right?

But for some reason, I feel like I?m barely staying afloat. I feel like I can?t do this.

I think it all boils down to the fact that for the very first time in my life, I don?t have FULL CONTROL! As much as I try {and believe me friends, I?ve tried} I can not control when she takes a nap, how long she sleeps, when she decides to go to bed at night, when she needs to eat, or when she decides to start screaming for no apparent reason at all.

Dave and I read the books, we followed the books, we took advice from so many people who have their kids on a schedule, we?ve tried this, we?ve tried that, we?ve tried everything again and again? but so far, nothing has worked.

And we REALLY want something to work!?

It?s been almost 3 months of?desperately?trying to get her to go to bed before 1:00am, trying to get her to take any sort of an afternoon nap, trying to calm her down during her lengthy screaming sessions EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT? but we can?t.

Nora is definitely still the boss over at our house? and I?m pretty sure she likes it that way!

I flop into bed every night and wonder how on earth single moms and military wives do this ? and don?t even get me started on teen moms. But then, every morning when I?m changing her diaper and she?s still so sleepy, she opens her eyes and she smiles. In that brief moment, I feel like eveything is going to be OK and I realize I CAN do this for another day.

But it?s still not easy.

Especially for someone like me who thrives on productivity, being ?in control?, and having all my ducks in a row. Frankly, I don?t even know where half my ducks are right now? and they definitely aren?t?in any type of a row!

Everyone says that Motherhood is the greatest job in the whole world ? and while they are probably right, I have to wonder if the women who say that are already well past the baby-stage and have simply pushed the overwhelming,?exhausted, and over-tired memories out of their brains!

Or maybe they all had perfect babies who were never colicky at night and actually took naps during the day

Motherhood is not for the weary?

And if you are a strong Type-A person like myself, it might just be one of the most difficult jobs you?ll ever have.

Good thing she?s so darn cute!

And honestly, I don?t want you to think I?m not enjoying motherhood? because I am. It?s just A LOT different and A LOT more challenging than I thought it would be!

As you can see by all the pictures, we are definitely having lots of fun with little Nora ? it?s also helpful that Dave is one of the most patient, low-key, go-with-the flow people I?ve ever met {they say opposites attract right!}. He reminds me {daily} that I AM a good mom and that I CAN do this.

I can do this!

.

And to all the other type-A moms out there? you can do it too!

Source: http://www.simpleorganizedliving.com/2012/02/14/motherhood-the-most-difficult-job-ive-ever-had/

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